At one.

No nothing in particular is happening at one, I'm just at one with the world. Which seems a less likely story in my life these days. Let's revel in it. Anything you need to talk to me about, do it now. 


I even watched Titanic before and that couldn't wipe the smile off my face. I just thought, imagine dealing with that in your life? Thank god I don't have to, see it could be so much worse. I have these days once in a blue moon, I'll be back to my old bitter self tomorrow over something or other. I'm even listening to Joy Division right now, apparently it is possible to do that and be happy. 


Woke up this morning hand had a voicemail from priory. Rang them back, references received and understood and i start next monday. I can get on the payroll for end of september aswell :) very large relief. So so nervous though. I really hope I don't fuck up or say anything stupid like i usually do. It's not milkshakes at risk in this job, it's lives. Man that was deep.


Anyway, then I phoned the job centre and I will be getting my housing benefit and job seekers for the brief and horrid time I was unemployed. Get in. Tax payers can pay my Nan back, nice one. Well, you do owe me one by now guys.


Then I went to see William. Bring him in, groom him, give him his tea, do a few stable jobs. I'm in my element. I love him already. I just feel so chilled and peaceful when I'm with him. Like none of my problems matter and I can just relax. I also love the smell of hoof oil. I probably shouldn't sniff it too much, it probably has a similar effect to poppers. Or crack, who knows. I think we're getting on well though. He came to me as soon as he saw me in the field today, so proud. He probably thought he was going on another hack and getting all excited bless him cos his best pal tried to follow. Tomorrow maybe, weather permitting. And he best behave haha. I think this is going to be good times.


Then I've had an invite out tomorrow, party time with Lauren, so excited. I love our party time. No drama just laughs, moves and drunk chatting shit. 


I'M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW.
Citalopram is the shit.


And it's not really bothering me that my love life seems to be a dying spark right now. It's too complicated. It's not like i have a shortage of people I like. it's just on has a girlfriend and isn't interested, one has a girlfriend and is very interested (see do I just go back to my old ways and just do it anyway? Fuck karma in the arse, it's done it enough times to me this year?), one is in denial about being obsessed with her ex and the other lives a bit far away and is a possible commitment phobe. But I'm not sure I mind that. God knows what state of mind I'm in. And might I add, she is very hot.


Anyway as you can see it's a headache. As the pussycat dolls once said 'I don't need a woman'...or something to that effect. But it would be nice to hit the jackpot...